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She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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