she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
