Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
