sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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