I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
