i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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