Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize