Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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