return my video game
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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