so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
