never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize