This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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