it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
