Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
