I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize