I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
should my penis look like a turkey
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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