Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
