you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
