She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Pants are for mortals
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
