1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
