I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
