Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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