Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
