There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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