I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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