If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
