I think my fart just growled at me.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
