You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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