when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
