What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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