next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
