Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize