I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
