I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
