my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
