Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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