No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
