Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
