we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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