Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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