Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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