I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
