I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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