Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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