Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
