I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
