Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
