where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
