let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize