I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
