Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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