I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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