I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
