I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
