We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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