No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
