there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
