Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize